The time is almost here for me to go! It seems like its come so fast. It just really hit me today when I realized I should probably pack. I'm stressed on a completely different level than last time I went. Last time I had no idea what to expect, even in the least bit. Now I have a pretty good idea of whats going to happen. I think you guys should all know what is really going down.
The lecture phase is June 26 - September 14, then the second phase the outreach phase is September 15 - November 17
The topics that we'll be talking about are: Principles of Ministry through Community, Biblical Worldview, Cross-Cultural Communication, Spiritual Gifts and Strengths Finder for Ministry, Personal Evangelism, Principles of Leadership, Compassion in Ministry, Faith and Finances for Ministry, Communicating Your Message Well, Understanding World Religions and the Make-Up of Your City, and Practical Leadership and Discipleship
Just a reminder,.... there are three choices I could make for the outreach, 1) Plan and set up and individualized outreach to a place, people group, or with another ministry that God has put on my heart, 2) plan and set up an outreach with one or more SOMD students and go as a small team, or 3) become part of the discipleship team by completing an internship with the DTS staff for the fall school, I would help lead an outreach, and that would be an extra three months. Personally I want to do the second option, but I have no idea until I get there and no clue what country I should go to yet anyway!
I am nervous though, 5 months is a long time, and especially since when I leave I'm not coming back until I'm back from another country. I could randomly go to Antarctica and only have the summer clothes I packed for June! Crazy. It will be good to be back, I'm really excited to get back into the mission field!!! Its what I love to do! I'll be updating this as much as I can! Please be praying! I leave bright and early Sunday morning!!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
About Time
I figured it was about time that I updated this. Especially since there is oh so much to say, I have no idea where to begin. First off I'm sorry for not writing sooner, it's been crazy, on so many different levels.
Lets see. Yesterday was my last day waitressing at Johnny Rockets. I was actually really sad about it. Goodness gracious I have so much to say about that job. Now I can I don't know multitask more? And not be so stressed when I ahve to do a million things at once. I knew I worked there for a reason. I prayed before I went into the interview that if I was supposed to get the job that I would just get it there on the spot, and SURPRISE!!!! God is amazing, there are so many people there that are Christians or at least interested in God, and BAM I'm thrown in and asked all these questions and honestly, I love it, I love it so much! I met some awesome people. So I didn't technically quit, I put in a leave of absence , so when I come home from my awesome adventures, then said they would take me back with open arms. Yes, Yes all this is awesome, but that isn't even the best part. The other day I was waiting on these two how would you say, business men. We were talking, they seemed very nice, and we started talking about traveling, and for those of you who know me, that's one of my favorite things to talk about. So I ended up telling them about how I went to Peru, and why. THEY. WERE. FASCINATED. So one of the nice men just happened to be the highest of the management of 6 flags theme park here in Queensbury. So I was excited when my supervisor came running to me telling me that he loved me! The next day as I was just doing my job he came and asked me if I would be interested in telling "my story" to his "high staff" meeting he is having on Tuesday. Of course I would! Another opportunity to spread the word! I can't wait! So this is an awesome thing! Then one of my supervisors asked me to come speak at his church, both of the men told me that I could be an inspiration to 6 flags as well as the youth around this community!
Enough about my job, more about everything else. Well I leave in a week, and honestly I've been having mixed feelings. I've never known so strongly that God wanted me to do something that I'm not comfortable doing. The thought of going back almost disturbs me. I'm afraid. I know I shouldn't be. A few reasons, my dad is still on my mind, especially with today being fathers day. I'm also comfortable here, I love my job, I love my friends and my family. Its. just. comfortable. At the same time that I'm feeling like this, my heart is aching, and I mean begging to be in the mission field again. It's my passion and I can't turn away from it. In anything, anywhere. I have to. Do. Go. and Be, be who God wants me to be and He has made is so clear. I need to go. God also informed me that I shouldn't not do something He wants me to do just because I'd be uncomfortable. Crazy, where does my comfort come from anyway? That's right Him. He'll give my my strength, comfort, and value all along the way. I'm slowly getting more excited the more I think about it, the more I look at my BRAND NEW PARALLEL BILIGUAL BIBLE! 5 months. The longest I've been away from home straight. I'm ready. I have no clue where my outreach is, but of course I'll be updating you guys as much as I can. Please, Please, be praying for clarity, strength, comfort, and guidance!!!
Lets see. Yesterday was my last day waitressing at Johnny Rockets. I was actually really sad about it. Goodness gracious I have so much to say about that job. Now I can I don't know multitask more? And not be so stressed when I ahve to do a million things at once. I knew I worked there for a reason. I prayed before I went into the interview that if I was supposed to get the job that I would just get it there on the spot, and SURPRISE!!!! God is amazing, there are so many people there that are Christians or at least interested in God, and BAM I'm thrown in and asked all these questions and honestly, I love it, I love it so much! I met some awesome people. So I didn't technically quit, I put in a leave of absence , so when I come home from my awesome adventures, then said they would take me back with open arms. Yes, Yes all this is awesome, but that isn't even the best part. The other day I was waiting on these two how would you say, business men. We were talking, they seemed very nice, and we started talking about traveling, and for those of you who know me, that's one of my favorite things to talk about. So I ended up telling them about how I went to Peru, and why. THEY. WERE. FASCINATED. So one of the nice men just happened to be the highest of the management of 6 flags theme park here in Queensbury. So I was excited when my supervisor came running to me telling me that he loved me! The next day as I was just doing my job he came and asked me if I would be interested in telling "my story" to his "high staff" meeting he is having on Tuesday. Of course I would! Another opportunity to spread the word! I can't wait! So this is an awesome thing! Then one of my supervisors asked me to come speak at his church, both of the men told me that I could be an inspiration to 6 flags as well as the youth around this community!
Enough about my job, more about everything else. Well I leave in a week, and honestly I've been having mixed feelings. I've never known so strongly that God wanted me to do something that I'm not comfortable doing. The thought of going back almost disturbs me. I'm afraid. I know I shouldn't be. A few reasons, my dad is still on my mind, especially with today being fathers day. I'm also comfortable here, I love my job, I love my friends and my family. Its. just. comfortable. At the same time that I'm feeling like this, my heart is aching, and I mean begging to be in the mission field again. It's my passion and I can't turn away from it. In anything, anywhere. I have to. Do. Go. and Be, be who God wants me to be and He has made is so clear. I need to go. God also informed me that I shouldn't not do something He wants me to do just because I'd be uncomfortable. Crazy, where does my comfort come from anyway? That's right Him. He'll give my my strength, comfort, and value all along the way. I'm slowly getting more excited the more I think about it, the more I look at my BRAND NEW PARALLEL BILIGUAL BIBLE! 5 months. The longest I've been away from home straight. I'm ready. I have no clue where my outreach is, but of course I'll be updating you guys as much as I can. Please, Please, be praying for clarity, strength, comfort, and guidance!!!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Moving Up
I probably figured I should blog about everything that is going on. I'm actually doing pretty well. God is my strength and He has definitely shown up for me in my hard times. I'm working at both my jobs, but the past couple of weeks there hasn't been alot of rooms in the hotel where Johnny Rockets is, which means, we get bad service. It's called a "dark week". I do enjoy waitressing alot, I'm getting very good at it too, not to mention the fact that there are people at work who are really interested in God, and I'm always just randomly there when they ask questions. When I was looking for a job, I was praying about where I should get it, and now I know why I'm here! God works in mysterious ways! and I love HIM lots!!
Things are really looking up with the YWAM preparations! Being a waitress means I can deposit money daily into the account, and my birthday just passed, I'M 20!!! So my money of aging is going into the account also. Lately I've been feeling a stronger desire to leave too, to like go out into the mission field again. My heart is aching for it! There is so much to do around here too! I'm really excited! I'm also driving to Minnesota, with my friend Cait and Ahnna. That should be quite fine, and quite the adventure. We are leaving June 20 something, I'll let all of you know the details, dates and money soon! I have quite the good amount of money saved up about 2500! I'm gonna keep working hard, and keep praying!! Please keep me and my family in your prayers!!
Things are really looking up with the YWAM preparations! Being a waitress means I can deposit money daily into the account, and my birthday just passed, I'M 20!!! So my money of aging is going into the account also. Lately I've been feeling a stronger desire to leave too, to like go out into the mission field again. My heart is aching for it! There is so much to do around here too! I'm really excited! I'm also driving to Minnesota, with my friend Cait and Ahnna. That should be quite fine, and quite the adventure. We are leaving June 20 something, I'll let all of you know the details, dates and money soon! I have quite the good amount of money saved up about 2500! I'm gonna keep working hard, and keep praying!! Please keep me and my family in your prayers!!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Now What?
Ok, soooo,... I'm here, sitting on my floor, stuffing my face with chocolate and ice cream. I know this usually happens after break ups, or other things in that category, but for me I guess this is just one of the ways I grieve my dad's death. By the way,... my dad passed away on Monday around 11 pm. It was quite interesting actually. The few days I saw my dad before he died I would learn so much about my family's past it sickened me. To the point where I was confused on if I was stressed more over the drama of my ridiculous family or the fact that my dad was lying there almost in a coma, dying. So around 10:30 pm I sat there,... wondering and getting myself all worked up over something that wasn't worth my time. I was thinking about it more that my dad, and even more than God. Not spending time with Jesus, and filling my mind with all these thoughts of what happened in the past and who my family was. It didn't even matter. It was pointless. I left everything I was doing, and went to be alone. I prayed and prayed. Poured out my heart to God, and cried. I realized that in all actuality, I wasn't letting my dad go at all. I sat there the day before holding his hand telling him it was ok to go, but really I was holding on. I was holding onto all the things that caused me pain. All the things I wish I could have changed, all the things I wish were different about what happened and what my family did. All the things,... that were done and never could be changed. I almost in a way felt hypocritical. I went to YWAM and learned all about forgiveness and how important it was, and here I am not even thinking about it. So,... I did. I forgave not only my dad for everything but for my family and chose to continuously be forgiving towards them... I came back to the real world around 11 pm, at peace, and full of the joy of God, then as God had prepared me, we got the phone call that my dad took his last breath. I cried as that is normal, but I knew that God had prepared me for it.
I took the next day off, and had a few friends over, each one bringing chocolate. Oh how chocolate is good for the soul :) Don't worry guys I poured my self out to God first. He is of course where my ultimate peace, joy, and comfort comes from. I did work the day after, but the next day, I had to come home early from work. So as you may be able to tell, I do have my good days and bad. I don't really know what sets me off, and honestly if you ask me how I am, I usually don't have a straight up answer. I'm as good as I can be I guess. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to grieve, but what I just recently discovered is that even this, me writing about this is making me move on. I do let myself cry, unlike my past, where I was too afraid to cry. I allow myself to be sad, and confused, for I know God will show me clarity. I honestly have no idea how I could possibly be even remotely ok if it wasn't for God. Even though my earthly father has died, my Heavenly father lives and will always and forevermore. It is going to be hard, you know, my birthday is in a couple of weeks. I usually spent a little bit of time with him, and on Fathers Day, I'll be a wreck, and don't even get me started on my wedding. All I know is that I have to take it one day at a time, and God has a bigger and better plan, and I can't stress about my future now. If God can worry about a bird, than I am defiantly worth His time. I know that this isn't goodbye, it's merely see you later. I know I'll see him in Heaven. I do feel like I had closure, but I feel like with someone you love, closure at death is never enough. I am ok with everything that happened. I can face it, I can't change it, but it will always hurt. He wasn't my best friend, not even close, but he was my father. He tried his best, but he was still learning too. He helped make me the strong person that I am today. He made me be independent. He tried, but most importantly, he loved me. I know he's looking down on me now smiling, and I promised him when he was dying I was going to make him so proud and I plan on keeping that promise. I will never forget the good times. I will be the best I can be for him and of course for my heavenly dad.
So here is whats going on. I've been working really hard to get to the second school for YWAM money is scarce at the moment but I'm not giving up. I know God wants me to go there, and I know that that will be a very good place for me to continue my grieving process. I can't want to be with my YWAM family again too. This Thursday is the funeral, and I'm not really sure what to think about it. So if you guys could continue to pray for me and my family that would be awesome. I'll be sure to write again soon :)
I took the next day off, and had a few friends over, each one bringing chocolate. Oh how chocolate is good for the soul :) Don't worry guys I poured my self out to God first. He is of course where my ultimate peace, joy, and comfort comes from. I did work the day after, but the next day, I had to come home early from work. So as you may be able to tell, I do have my good days and bad. I don't really know what sets me off, and honestly if you ask me how I am, I usually don't have a straight up answer. I'm as good as I can be I guess. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to grieve, but what I just recently discovered is that even this, me writing about this is making me move on. I do let myself cry, unlike my past, where I was too afraid to cry. I allow myself to be sad, and confused, for I know God will show me clarity. I honestly have no idea how I could possibly be even remotely ok if it wasn't for God. Even though my earthly father has died, my Heavenly father lives and will always and forevermore. It is going to be hard, you know, my birthday is in a couple of weeks. I usually spent a little bit of time with him, and on Fathers Day, I'll be a wreck, and don't even get me started on my wedding. All I know is that I have to take it one day at a time, and God has a bigger and better plan, and I can't stress about my future now. If God can worry about a bird, than I am defiantly worth His time. I know that this isn't goodbye, it's merely see you later. I know I'll see him in Heaven. I do feel like I had closure, but I feel like with someone you love, closure at death is never enough. I am ok with everything that happened. I can face it, I can't change it, but it will always hurt. He wasn't my best friend, not even close, but he was my father. He tried his best, but he was still learning too. He helped make me the strong person that I am today. He made me be independent. He tried, but most importantly, he loved me. I know he's looking down on me now smiling, and I promised him when he was dying I was going to make him so proud and I plan on keeping that promise. I will never forget the good times. I will be the best I can be for him and of course for my heavenly dad.
So here is whats going on. I've been working really hard to get to the second school for YWAM money is scarce at the moment but I'm not giving up. I know God wants me to go there, and I know that that will be a very good place for me to continue my grieving process. I can't want to be with my YWAM family again too. This Thursday is the funeral, and I'm not really sure what to think about it. So if you guys could continue to pray for me and my family that would be awesome. I'll be sure to write again soon :)
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Coming to an end
Job is going well!!! I'm making bank sonnn! 92 in tips the other day, on a Wednesday morning. Things are looking up in that aspect. Seeing my friends alot before I leave, definitely a good thing as well. One thing I do hate though about that job, there is so much drama, it's a little bit insane. So many people are dating, or trash talking the others. I stay clear away from it. I do feel that I'm doing well waitressing, but I'm also going back to Minnesota soon!
I'm really excited about it, also excited to see beautiful Minnesota in the summer, with a pool, heck ya! I can't wait to see what God does it my life this time, if he changed me this much just in the first school, what more can he do for me in the second. Especially because I love like counseling people and just all around talking to them, and helping. So looking forward to this second school by far.
My dad hasn't been the best... ha, who am I kidding, he is miserable... I went to visit him today. His liver is failing, and his lungs are full of liquid, he's on so much morphine, he can't even talk, or hear us talking most of the time. It's really sad seeing him like this. He has no color in his skin, and they of course took his dentures out. My dad did conquer a long lived goal today, my brother, sister, and I were all in the same room today. Longest time I've ever been with my brother. Sad it had to be like this, but good that we were finally together. We all sat in the room with him, telling him we loved him, wishing we all could say so much more. When it finally came to me, I couldn't find the words to say to him to make everything ok, honestly I will never have full closure with him I feel. I really just have to trust that God will heal me completely. There is so much more that I have to deal with, with all of this that is under the surface. For all of us, at least my brother and sister. My family isn't the best, and I am so grateful for my friends that are like my family. I'm not at the best state of mind right now. I'm praying for comfort and clarity. There is so much going on in my head right now. So much that I can't even thing straight. I know that God has a reason for everything that happens. I know that He is close to the broken hearted. I know that He will give me all the strength that I need to carry on. I know He will, but I also know that there is a time to mourn, and now is my time. I am happy at the fact that even though my dad is barely responsive, he did answer me and tell me he loved me too. I just wish he wasn't in pain. I wish this was easy, I wish he didn't have to go, I wish so many things, but there is a bigger and better plan. There is no pain where he is going anyways. You know. I understand, so many unfortunate kids with no parents, so much sickness in the world, so much pain, I almost feel selfish to say that I'm too young for him to go right now. I'm stuck between the missionary mindset, and the young adult who just wishes she could have some more time with her father. I wish I could spend one more day with him, one last time. I wish I could have an actual conversation with him, knowing for a fact that he can understand everything I'm saying. I don't even remember that much before he was sick. I can't live with all these regrets, I feel like it's all my fault for not trying harder, but what more was I supposed to do? I ran away for so long, it's too late to go back now. He wasn't the best father by far, but he was still my dad. I don't want to have to look back and say I didn't know what I had until it was gone. I don't want to be like that. All I can do at this point is pray to God, pray to my Heavenly Father. Receive my comfort and joy from Him, That will never run out at least. I know I can rely on Him. Please keep my dad, and my family in your prayers.
I'm really excited about it, also excited to see beautiful Minnesota in the summer, with a pool, heck ya! I can't wait to see what God does it my life this time, if he changed me this much just in the first school, what more can he do for me in the second. Especially because I love like counseling people and just all around talking to them, and helping. So looking forward to this second school by far.
My dad hasn't been the best... ha, who am I kidding, he is miserable... I went to visit him today. His liver is failing, and his lungs are full of liquid, he's on so much morphine, he can't even talk, or hear us talking most of the time. It's really sad seeing him like this. He has no color in his skin, and they of course took his dentures out. My dad did conquer a long lived goal today, my brother, sister, and I were all in the same room today. Longest time I've ever been with my brother. Sad it had to be like this, but good that we were finally together. We all sat in the room with him, telling him we loved him, wishing we all could say so much more. When it finally came to me, I couldn't find the words to say to him to make everything ok, honestly I will never have full closure with him I feel. I really just have to trust that God will heal me completely. There is so much more that I have to deal with, with all of this that is under the surface. For all of us, at least my brother and sister. My family isn't the best, and I am so grateful for my friends that are like my family. I'm not at the best state of mind right now. I'm praying for comfort and clarity. There is so much going on in my head right now. So much that I can't even thing straight. I know that God has a reason for everything that happens. I know that He is close to the broken hearted. I know that He will give me all the strength that I need to carry on. I know He will, but I also know that there is a time to mourn, and now is my time. I am happy at the fact that even though my dad is barely responsive, he did answer me and tell me he loved me too. I just wish he wasn't in pain. I wish this was easy, I wish he didn't have to go, I wish so many things, but there is a bigger and better plan. There is no pain where he is going anyways. You know. I understand, so many unfortunate kids with no parents, so much sickness in the world, so much pain, I almost feel selfish to say that I'm too young for him to go right now. I'm stuck between the missionary mindset, and the young adult who just wishes she could have some more time with her father. I wish I could spend one more day with him, one last time. I wish I could have an actual conversation with him, knowing for a fact that he can understand everything I'm saying. I don't even remember that much before he was sick. I can't live with all these regrets, I feel like it's all my fault for not trying harder, but what more was I supposed to do? I ran away for so long, it's too late to go back now. He wasn't the best father by far, but he was still my dad. I don't want to have to look back and say I didn't know what I had until it was gone. I don't want to be like that. All I can do at this point is pray to God, pray to my Heavenly Father. Receive my comfort and joy from Him, That will never run out at least. I know I can rely on Him. Please keep my dad, and my family in your prayers.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Long Visit....
First off, I'm going to warn you guys. When I go to Minnesota, I can't use this blog on a regular basis, but I will as much as I can get to internet places. I was going to try wordpress, but even the site was slower than anything... and I customized this and made it my own. So while I'm there, if I need to say something I'll e-mail you guys just tell me if you want me to put you on my newsletter group. Then when I get to the internet outside the base I'll publish all of my writings to my blog :) ahhh!
Ok, so today I went to see my father. It actually went well, we prayed, and I tried to get him to understand that he is dying, he's still in denial, which hurts all of us even more. He is just angry in general, and not wanting to listen, so frustrated and confused. He feels like he needs to make up the past 10 years he hasn't had with me. We all know that isn't going to happen, and I don't know what I can possibly do to make him see. All I can do is pray, and be there and let him know I love him. I even bought him a squirrel, weird I know, but he likes squirrels,... He is in a lot of pain, and I guess that doctors gave him like three weeks, but we really don't know.. He's been accepted to a house like place, kinda like a nursing home I'm guessing, in Saratoga. We'll see how that goes, he is supposed to be released from the hospital on Monday.
I'm going again tomorrow! I"ll let you guys know how it goes.
God is so amazing, He is my comfort and my shelter, my peace and my hope. Also my friends and family are really awesome! Thanks guys for everything!!
Ok, so today I went to see my father. It actually went well, we prayed, and I tried to get him to understand that he is dying, he's still in denial, which hurts all of us even more. He is just angry in general, and not wanting to listen, so frustrated and confused. He feels like he needs to make up the past 10 years he hasn't had with me. We all know that isn't going to happen, and I don't know what I can possibly do to make him see. All I can do is pray, and be there and let him know I love him. I even bought him a squirrel, weird I know, but he likes squirrels,... He is in a lot of pain, and I guess that doctors gave him like three weeks, but we really don't know.. He's been accepted to a house like place, kinda like a nursing home I'm guessing, in Saratoga. We'll see how that goes, he is supposed to be released from the hospital on Monday.
I'm going again tomorrow! I"ll let you guys know how it goes.
God is so amazing, He is my comfort and my shelter, my peace and my hope. Also my friends and family are really awesome! Thanks guys for everything!!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Interesting Time...
This Sunday I had a presentation for Peru at my local church. It actually went surprisingly well. People were very interested in what I had to say, and what my newly knowledged brain had to offer. We put up donation baskets, and I received a good sum of money :) SOMD here I come!!! I played the slide show I made for my YWAM DTS graduation, and hearing all the laughing and the "aweees" was just awesome. It was just really good for my home church to really understand my goals and dreams, and it meant alot to know that they were all there supporting me and praying for me.
It was good trying to explain things, but it was also hard for me because, honestly, I didn't know how to answer all the questions asked of me. Questions like, "So, what do the people in Peru do all day?", or "So, where do they bathe?" It just kills me, but I do the best explaining I can. I miss the people there, and I just wish there was more I can do, but all I can do is pray at the moment.
As of now, I am working two jobs! Although, hours around here are slim in both work areas. I still work at Tommy Hilfiger, going on, I do believe 5 years!! Now, I also waitress at a place some of you may be familiar with, Johnny Rockets. I like it alot, and I need money for SOMD, so might as well have fun while I'm doing it. I enjoy the people I work with, I get talk to people, in fact the more you interact with the customers, the better! I even get to dance to old fifties songs! I have to wear a red ribbon in my hair and a black bow tie, and listen to fifties songs ALL. DAY. LONG. I love it.
Another thing. As some of you may know, my father is very sick. In fact, we are pretty sure it won't be another month. He has cancer in his kidneys, and liver, and now apparently he has pneumonia. He is on morphine and I know its coming to an end. I honestly don't know how I'm feeling about all this. I guess you could say I have my good times and my bad times. Sometimes I just want to spill my guts, others I just will sit in complete silence, contemplating all my thoughts. Sometimes I just break down in fear, others I'll be laughing. I hope I don't slowly get to a numb state. I constantly pray to God to save me from this coming grief, yet there is a time to grieve. God is my shelter and my comfort though. He is close to the broken hearted. Please keep him in your prayers...
It was good trying to explain things, but it was also hard for me because, honestly, I didn't know how to answer all the questions asked of me. Questions like, "So, what do the people in Peru do all day?", or "So, where do they bathe?" It just kills me, but I do the best explaining I can. I miss the people there, and I just wish there was more I can do, but all I can do is pray at the moment.
As of now, I am working two jobs! Although, hours around here are slim in both work areas. I still work at Tommy Hilfiger, going on, I do believe 5 years!! Now, I also waitress at a place some of you may be familiar with, Johnny Rockets. I like it alot, and I need money for SOMD, so might as well have fun while I'm doing it. I enjoy the people I work with, I get talk to people, in fact the more you interact with the customers, the better! I even get to dance to old fifties songs! I have to wear a red ribbon in my hair and a black bow tie, and listen to fifties songs ALL. DAY. LONG. I love it.
Another thing. As some of you may know, my father is very sick. In fact, we are pretty sure it won't be another month. He has cancer in his kidneys, and liver, and now apparently he has pneumonia. He is on morphine and I know its coming to an end. I honestly don't know how I'm feeling about all this. I guess you could say I have my good times and my bad times. Sometimes I just want to spill my guts, others I just will sit in complete silence, contemplating all my thoughts. Sometimes I just break down in fear, others I'll be laughing. I hope I don't slowly get to a numb state. I constantly pray to God to save me from this coming grief, yet there is a time to grieve. God is my shelter and my comfort though. He is close to the broken hearted. Please keep him in your prayers...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)